September 11, 2011

     I turned on NPR this morning as I do most mornings. I am listening to the continuous coverage of remembrance of the events of ten years ago and I find asking myself some difficult questions. Some of which I have the answers to and some I don't. The first question is, "do I want to listen to the drama and reliving of these events again?" The truth is, "no, I don't.” so I turn it off.
     What really prompted this morning's musing are the numerous reports of how difficult it appears to be for reporters to access the memorial site this morning, which hints at how difficult it is for anyone to get near the site. Reports of roadblocks everywhere, police, guards, and fences forcing detours. Secret Service are all around to protect President Obama and former President Bush who will be there today to speak. I found it remarkable that the report had to explicitly state Obama and Bush are not there for political reasons but to address the crowds to mark this anniversary. My, how interesting that we, the people, must be reminded this is not a political occasion; but that is a topic for another day.
      Here are the hard questions I am asking of myself. Do roadblocks really protect us? Are we responding or reacting? In addition, is the from a place of strength or from a place of fear? Are we letting others determine our sense of freedom? Are we free? How do we define freedom? Questions worth pondering with one's self and others. The reporting this morning brought to mind the image of one taking a deep breath and puffing up his/her chest to exhibit a show of strength. It's a feeble image.   
       It is in moments like this that I turn to my beloved Book of Common Prayer to find guidance and words of confidence. For comfort in this time and always:
  

V.    Show us your mercy, O Lord;
R.    And grant us your salvation.
V.    Clothe your ministers with righteousness;
R.    Let your people sing with joy.
V.    Give peace, O Lord, in all the world;
R.    For only in you can we live in safety.

V.    Lord, keep this nation under your care;
R.    And guide us in the way of justice and truth.
V.    Let your way be known upon earth;
R.    Your saving health among all nations.
V.    Let not the needy, O Lord, be forgotten;
R.    Nor the hope of the poor be taken away.
V.    Create in us clean hearts, O God;
R.    And sustain us with your Holy Spirit.  

                                                                                                                        1979 Book of Common Prayer p 97

Thanks be to God. Amen

       

                                                                            
     

How do you eat an elephant?

      One "bite" at a time. It seems it is the same for seminary, one class at a time. When I start to think in terms of work  load, time schedules and juggling all my commitments I start to get overwhelmed, then I freeze. All I need to do is take a step back, take a deep breath and take one bite at at time. I had my first day of classes yesterday and it is going to be a great semester. It's going to be demanding and require a lot of time, discipline and deep breathing but I am up for it.
     So, here we go...Middler year, here I come!!

Holy Smokes!!

Bastrop fire behind the Austin skyline

     I had to share this photo. It was posted by a friend of mine on his Facebook page, taken by a friend of his. It's a view of the largest and fastest spreading fire around Austin taken from a high vantage point in (looks like) northwest Austin looking southeast.
     It 's being referred to as the Bastrop fires, 25,000 acres and over 200 homes burned. Bastrop is a bedroom community approximately 50 miles southeast of Austin. Many residents of Bastrop are ranchers and farmers and they are scrambling to save their lives, their livestock and their homes, in that order. It is a true disaster, high winds from the tropical storm, (literally) bone dry ground and no water resources to access. Some of these fires started by spontaneous combustion due to the heat and dryness. All the Austin area fire fighters are on alert and many state resources are being called in to fight the fires. There are other fires in the Northwest Steiner Ranch area of Austin, further north in Leander and out in Spicewood.
      We have not had any smoke blow in where I live but I know people who are in the line of the winds and smoke who are affected. Unfortunately, the news continues to be difficult and not very hopeful that the fires are close to being fully contained. I ask your prayers for those living in the path of these fires and for those who are fighting the fires so courageously.

Almighty God, in giving us dominion over things on earth,you made us fellow workers in your creation: Give us wisdom and reverence so to use the resources of nature, that no one may suffer from our abuse of them, and that generations yet to come may continue to praise you for your bounty; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. 
BCP p 827

School days, school days...

    School starts tomorrow! It's hard to believe I am beginning my Middler year, but I am! I have an intense year of course work in front of me but the daily schedule is pretty  manageable. My courses are Theology II, Ethics I, Preaching I, Biblical Interpretation for Preaching, Liturgical Music and Poetry of the Hebrew Bible. All pretty meaty and, from what I understand, pretty demanding. The week is balanced, allowing enough time for Work Study and book study.
     My classmates have all returned from summer CPE programs and over this last month I have heard about their experiences as hospital chaplains and shared some of my own. I know that as time goes on, more will be revealed and I will have a deeper understanding of the time I spent as a chaplain.
     I am looking forward to being the Assistant Manager of the Seminary Bookstore this year.  It strikes me as funny, how I have often ended up doing things I thought I was finished with. I guess retail will always be with me. I still enjoy it and it is a part of who I am and what I do.
      Our community is changing once again, new students, families, professors. Lots of new faces and personalities. Let the balancing and adjusting begin!
     I hope to write more on my blog this semester. I enjoy writing it and would like to take more time to do it this year. I will stay in touch and invite you to do the same.

Life is short, buy the boots and wear 'em.

Remember The Alamo

     The Alamo is in the rear view mirror, I'm headin' up I-35 toward home in Austin. I have just spent the last 12 weeks doing CPE in San Antonio as part of my education. It was quite an experience being a hospital chaplain, I  know hospital chaplaincy is not my call but God bless those who do feel a call to it. It is tough work.
     I was with people at some of the hardest parts of their lives. My most memorable experiences were in the Adult ER, ICU, Oncology and Pediatric ICU. I had the priviledge of being with patients and their families as they face life changing decisions. Many, on the floors I served, had little chance of full recovery, it was more a matter of getting better to a lower level of norm. In the face of all of this, tremendous grace and courage was shown in the face of less than hopeful crcumstances.
     During this time, more has been asked of me than I ever imagined and I found I had little to fear. It is amazing to me what I am capable of when I am put in a situation and need to draw on my own resources.  I cannot describe what I have learned in these last 12 weeks and I do know that more will be revealed as I move further from this experience. 
     I have had a chance to go and do some of the things San Antonio has to offer. Just the other night the couple I have been staying with and I went on the water taxi ride down the San Antonio Riverwalk. We started at the newly restored Pearl Brewery down the river to downtown and back again. It was great fun and I highly recommend it. The tickets allow one to get on and off unlimited times in a 24 hour period. It's a great way to have lunch, visit the museums and stop for a cocktail downtown and end the day with an evening cruise back to the car. The city has done a beautiful job with the whole project.


The Blue Hole, Wimberly Texas



     One day, my classmates and I went to Wimberly, TX to poke around. The Blanco River runs through town and is one of those mystical Texas rivers I have come to love and be drawn to. We wandered up River Road and stopped to look at the clear green water. Limestone deposits color the water a beautiful emerald green.much like the turquoise blue of our Gulf water. Even though there has not been enough rain this summer, some of the springs are still running and feeding parts of the river. The Blue Hole is an old fashioned swimming hole tucked around the bend. All along this part of the Blanco huge 100-150 year old cypress tress line the banks and shade the river. Some of the trunks are 8' in diameter, incredible.



     We rode across Devil's Backbone to get to and from Wimberley. It's a stretch of road on FM 32 that runs along a ridge and there are incredible vistas off either side. I  suppose it was named Devil's Backbone long ago by some settlers, cowboys or indigenous people to describe the land, how it was to travel the land and be on the land. This is part of what touches me so deeply about Texas. The people have a connection to the land and history like none I have experieced before. 

         I have been living with a wonderful couple who graciously opened their home to me.  They are fun and interesting people who enjoy life and wake up each day ready to engage with the world. Jan is an artist, a potter. Courtenay is a retired educator who is an endless source of interesting tidbits that make for great conversation. Frequently we would have dinner together and spend hours at the table talking about all kinds of things, including politics which was mightly interesting! Maggie, their black lab, decided I was OK right away. We go on walks together; I throw the ball or the stick, which she loves. I have never seen a dog so excited when she knows she is going to get to retrieve the ball! All she has to do is come sit on my foot and she knows I will go out and throw to her, she know a sucker when she sees one. I will miss Jan and Courteneay, they have become dear friends and I know I will stay in touch with them.      This has been a good summer. I'm ready to be back home in Austin, ready to see my friends and get back into a routine. So I am ready to walk out the door, and head north and begin another adventure.

Home ........

This is a wonderful post that my sister wrote about our life back then...

 

Great Barrington is 250 years old.... Amazing... So in my mind I head out the back door, head south on West Avenue (on my bike) and go to Zayre's for some sunscreen, stop at Green River (too cold) and end up at Wyantenuk for some sun. Hungry, I head to J & J's, stop for air in my tires at Ray's, Harper's for smokes (yep, did that), Herbie's for the shoes I love, Mel's for a Tab and then Spudnuts for a jelly doughnut. Still on my bike, I ride out of town stopping to say hi to Hank Doncaster and on to Butternut. No skiing today, but what a view - then off to Friendly's for a Fribble - a glance at Marge and Tom's backyard to see if anyone is swimming, then on to the Jennifer House to walk through - never, ever gets boring. See Tom J is working at WSBS, ride past the Dairy Queen and the Pizza House (so having that for dinner), stop in at Hull Oil to see Lou, then past Grants, Bill's pharmacy for another Tab, Greenfield's to laugh at cards, look in the window at Endicott Johnson's, up Railroad St. to Army Navy - the blue and red & yellow cabs a plenty, back past Cooper's, Hi to Fred and Millie at Farshaw's and then Ted's..... hello who didn't love Ted's...... got my brown bag and go to sit in front of Town Hall at the fountain. The church bells on the corner chime 6 - time to head back up Taconic Ave to the house I will always remember as "home".... Nice ride. Anyone care to join me?

 

by Cindy Gerold Mullner on Monday, July 4, 2011 at 9:40am

Holy Cowgirl meets Rhinestone Cowgirl

May 9, 2011, Austin TX.  A fantasy came true on this night. I went to the TXRD, that would be shorthand for Texas Roller Derby. (www.txrd.com)  I have always wanted to go to the Roller Derby and never found anyone else with enough curiosity to indulge me, until now. Along with a group of friends from the seminary, we headed to the arena for a night of raucous fun to watch the Rhinestone Cowgirls vs. Hellcats. There is great irony in it; Rhinestone Cowgirls-Holy Cowgirl, and we are from the seminary and the opponent was the Hellcats.  There is another team called the Holy Rollers, I must go see them too.. I think God sees it fitting that I finally experience the Roller Derby as a seminarian.

The names of the skaters are very clever. One of the Rhinestone Cowgirls is "Alley Bamazon" , #US72-think she is from North Alabama? Then there is "Dusty Doublewide" #2XL and "Truckstop Trixie" #I-35. Go to the TXRD website and click on any one of the team rosters and see the great names for these players you will get a good laugh.

This is not my last TXRD meet, I must build my collection of tee shirts and to do that I guess I will have to go to the meets!

Encuentro

     Originally written to post January 28, 2011.

     Our weekend  in Laredo, Texas was an exciting and exhausting experience. We did an Encuentro which translates to an encounter with the Hispanic people.   Laredo is a curious place, it sits right on the US/Mexican border. Anglos, Hispanics, legal and illegal, native Laredoans and a few newcomers live there. All seem to live together peacefully. Many have left and many are called back home, often by the place.
          We had the privilege to meet and listen to women who shared their amazing personal experiences. Maria spent 6 days on top of a train traveling from Guatamala to Mexico eventually crossed into the U.S. Anna risked her life and custody of her children to get out of a horrific abusive situation. Sylvie is piecing together a life that is far better than one she would have ever had in her homeland. It is a life we might look at and wonder, "is it better?" She would answer with an emphatic "yes!" These women are gentle, courageous and have profound faith. They believe in the human spirit, the goodness of people and in a God who will not leave them. There is a lightness and a hope that shines in their eyes and their smiles.
     On Friday we went south of town and visited El Cenzio Colonia, a ghetto built up next to the Rio Grande river. Some colonias are more developed than others, the one we visited has infastructure, a community government and two schools nearby.The Lutheran and Methodist Churches are present and doing great work.

     While at the colonia, we went down to the bank of the Rio Grande, less that one hundred yards wide, riverbank to riverbank. and looked across at Mexico. Getting to see the mighty Rio Grande was a high point, it's beautiful and haunting at the same time, quiet by day and can be deadly at night. The bank across the river seems deserted, but, there are many who creep through the brush and lay in wait for darkness to fall so they can slip into the water and cross to the US. Many with just the clothes on their backs and their children in their arms. They pray God will see them safely across without the river or the Border Patrol catching them. The Border Patrol waits all along the border and it was unsettling to see a Border Patrol truck hidden in the brush along the river.
     The thought crossed my mind that it was likely someone would try to cross the river that night. Would they make it? If not, what would happen?  I wonder, what is it like to live in a defined area, bound by the natural border of the river and the unnatural borders known as checkpoints?  What is it like to live on the run?     
     The faith community of Laredo is involved, committed and  a voice of reason for the reality of life in a bi-lingual border town. The pastors and priests of the churches strike a delicate balance between the law of man and the law of God. They must make room for law enforcement/border agents and illegals to live and worship together. They ask these questions, "What about sanctuary? How does one create safety and sanctuary for people? How does a threat to basic security affect one’s psyche, sense of home and family?" These are questions to consider in my own life and in ministry. Caring for God's people is courageous business, but it is what we are all called to do.

"...whatever you do for the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me." Matthew 25:40 

...stretch into the unknown...

The ‘interior battles’ Teresa [of Avila] describes at this

stage [of moving through the ‘Interior Castles’] might…be

understood as a form of anxiety, produced by a tension

between the desire for the comfort of the known and the now-acknowledged need to stretch into the unknown…

The only real remedy to the difficulties of affective

 stretching is for the soul to cultivate patience and

to accept that it cannot comprehend, at this point, all that is being accomplished in it.”

Entering Teresa of Avila’s Interior Castle,

                          Gillian T. W. Ahlgren

    These are words of hope. I have come back to them time and again when I am uncomfortable or uncertain I now recognize it as stretching. Since I started this blog, I have talked of formation and change on more than one occassion. Sometimes it has been about something that seems so inconsequential, it makes me wonder what the connection is. There are other times, such as now, when I can point to very obvious and clear moments of tension in the unknowing.     
     It begs the question, "What is God doing with me?" I don't know. Is there discomfort and uncertainty in that? You bet! Do I like it? Some days, yes; some days, not so much. There are days I yearn for the comfort of the known because it is uncomfortable being shaped and re-formed. However, there is no going back, I have to stay with it and truth be told, I want to stay with it. Even better, God will stay with it! Once the process has begun, God keeps at it until God can add one more "very good" to the already marvelous creation of me.

"For know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans togive you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 

Snow in Austin

     Well, I was wrong, and had I actually put money down on the table, I would have lost it. It's snowing in Austin, Texas.
     It's 4 am and I have been awakened by the quiet. I got out of bed, looked out the window and it's snowing. It's gently falling, I see it  in the light of the street lamps, a soft, white blanket over everything and, it is strangely quiet.
     That's the thing about snow, it is so quiet. When it snows, the world gets quiet and has permission to stop. Our need to go, our rush to be somewhere is no more and there is not much to do but rest in the beauty and the quiet of it.
     The weather says the sun will shine later today and it may melt the snow away. But for now, God has decided it is time to rest.


Be still and know that I am God.
                                            Psalm 46:10